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September 1st, 2021 - 5:00 pm § in Humor

BREAKING NEWS! Americans flee brutal religious police!

Desperate, frightened refugees jammed airport gates in Dallas and Houston trying to get on evacuation flights out of the Republican Emirate of Texas before a new religious law took effect allowing rapists to sue their victims! Return to The-Ave.US Home Page[...]

December 1st, 2020 - 7:37 pm § in Donald Trump, Law and Courts, Politics

BREAKING NEWS — Court records reveal FBI probe of pardon bribery scheme

Not much is known right now, beyond what CNN reported (here): “The Justice Department is investigating a potential crime related to funneling money to the White House or related political committee in exchange for a presidential pardon, according to court records unsealed Tuesday in federal c[...]

September 23rd, 2020 - 4:40 pm § in Racism

BREAKING NEWS: No charges for killing Breonna Taylor

This article contains news with liberal commentary. The facts of the case Police suspected Taylor’s current and prior boyfriends of drug dealing, and obtained a no-knock warrant to search her apartment for drugs I(none were found). When they battered down the door, her current boyfriend believ[...]

September 11th, 2020 - 9:45 am § in Humor, Misc.

BREAKING NEWS — Elon Musk offers Monica Lewinsky a Tesla with a 100% money-back guarantee!

Who gives a damn? I mean, really, who cares what kind of car Monnnnikkka drives? Well, if Newsweek thinks this is newsworthy, then I guess it is. Read story here. Lewinsky tweeted,   Musk replied, “Try a Tesla & you’re welcome to give it back if you decide you prefer a Subaru.&#[...]

August 23rd, 2020 - 9:11 pm § in Humor, Politics, Science

BREAKING NEWS — Asteroid to destroy earth a day before election

“An asteroid known as 2018 VP1 is headed straight to Earth” and “could hit on November 2, 2020, according to the Center for Near Earth Objects Studies (CNEOS) at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory,” numerous news sources reported on Saturday, Aug. 22, 2020. Read story he[...]

April 1st, 2020 - 3:37 pm § in Misc.

BREAKING NEWS: Is “Ultima Thule “Fake News?”

(TA News, 1 Feb. 2019; NASA)”Ultima  Thule” looks like a movie prop from Star Wars! Images from the New Horizons probe have been described as “looking like a snow man.”  The pictures taken of an asteroid 85.000 miles away are, supposedly, the images of the furthest reaches[...]

March 15th, 2020 - 3:19 pm § in Economics

BREAKING NEWS: The Fed acts to shore up economy

Rate cuts, QE, other actions are similar to 2008; stock futures drop, triggering trading halt Reacting to the coronavirus emergency, the Federal Reserve announced Sunday it’s cutting interest rates to zero, launching a $700 billion QE (quantitative easing) program, and cutting commercial banks[...]

March 15th, 2020 - 1:31 am § in Misc.

BREAKING NEWS: Jeff Bezos REMAKES Hong Kong

A NEW YEAR SURPRISE! Jeff Bezos, appearing in a made for Prime TV video, has joined together with Presidents Trump and Xi to announce that Hong Kong will now be managed by the Seattle mega retail company. The announcement was made from the decks of the Octopus, the magnificent Megayacht previously o[...]

February 21st, 2020 - 1:12 am § in Misc.

BREAKING NEWS> Where Vancouver’s New Windsors Will Live!

Goodbye, your royal highnesses. Welcome Harry and Meghan to your new home on Vancouver Island! The couple will no longer use the prestigious titles His Royal Highness and Her Royal Highness, but they are not being stripped of them. Harry will remain a prince and sixth in line to the British throne. [...]

January 6th, 2020 - 3:46 pm § in Misc.

BREAKING NEWS: US sends troops to Yemen!

The Arabic-language Masa Press news website reported on Monday that the US forces have entered Yemen to cooperate with their Saudi counterparts to support the US trade cargos in Bab al-Mandab strait. It added that the US forces were stationed in the city due to Washington’s fear for Iran’[...]