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BREAKING NEWS: Jeff Bezos REMAKES Hong Kong

A NEW YEAR SURPRISE!

Jeff Bezos, appearing in a made for Prime TV video, has joined together with Presidents Trump and Xi to announce that Hong Kong will now be managed by the Seattle mega retail company.

The announcement was made from the decks of the Octopus, the magnificent Megayacht previously owned by dead Paul Allen.  Now purchased by Mr. Bezos, the 350 ft vessel will be homeported in Hong Kong and serve as Mr. Bezos’ home away from home.

Aside from Amazon, the 100 billionaire is also purchasing the Seattle Seahawks, again from the dead Paul Allen.  The Hawks  will now play a third of their games in the new Hai Ying Stadium .. 海鹰体育场.

Mayor Jenny Durkhin of Seattle and the Seattle based construction company, Wright Construction Company , also announced that Seattle and Hong Kong will become sister cities.  Plans include a replica of the Space Needle along the shores of Hong Kong.  This will be constructed by the Wright Company which also owns the current Needle. In return,  China and Seattle will announce a sister relationship between Seattle’s Seattle Asian Art Museum and the Hong Kong Heritage Museum.  Although Mr. Allen is now dead, the trust that lives on as dead Paul Allen is donating his art collection to this unusual transoceanic institution which will also take over management of Seattle’s iconic Museum of Pop Culture. 

President Trump was especially gratified that this new relationship, “based in the shared ideal of capitalism” would bring the discord in Hong Kong to an end. The President announced that his hotel chain will build Trump East .. its first hotel in China.  The hotel will also house the headquarters of Ivanka East to be headed by Ivanka Trump whio will leave the White House to directly manage the new venture.

President Xi Jinping, said he was very pleased  that the three leaders had been able to offer the people of Hong Kong a pathway that preserved the commitment to one country, two systems.  He notes that China’s own commitment to social engineering mirrored the efforts by Amazon to use artificial intelligence to improve the way it serves its customers.

Jack Ma, investor, politician , philanthropist, and founder of China’s Amazon, Alibaba, Group, was also aboard the Octopus .  He expressed his support for the endeavour and  announced plans for Amazon and Alibaba to work on joint projects. These will based in a new headquarters the companies will share in 中環, the central business district of Hong Kong.

Finally, Mr. Bezos and Mr. Ma will be joining the Hong Kong Governing Council. The body, appointed jointly by China’s central government and the elected representatives of Hong Kong, is the prime governing body of the former British colony.  Mr. Bezos plans to also offer Prime membership to all citizens of the former colony.

Theappearance of the Octopus off of the shores of Hong Kong was a huge surprise.  Unannounced, the boat cruised into port immdiately after Christmas. HK Television Entertainment (HKTVE; 香港電視娛樂), the new Amazon :Prime affiliate, began broadcasting shows from Amazon Prime over the air!  The shows were chosen for the same audience as has been in the streets .. millennials, including unemployed students who coul;d not afford to pay for streaming before today!   The shows included the  offers for free Amazon Prime membership, the first time the company has offered the subscription and delivery service to all citizens!  The immedaite effect was obvious as students went home so they could register and receive the new benefits! . The message, accompanied  by ads of smiling workers, read in Cantonese:

我哋就招聘新員工到興港亞馬遜的履行中心工作, 作為我哋本著新年精神交付禮物工作嘅一分子!

<We will be hiring new staff to work for Hong Kong Amazon in fulfillment centers as part of our effort to deliver presents in the spirit of Chinese new year! > and, a message fro the US President,

 

美國對偉大的人民共和國嘅新民主城市感到興奮。 我們會為所有公民提供移民到西雅圖嘅機會, 只需購買最低200万美元, 以樓嘅形式, 建設喺偉大嘅城市!  Or in American, The United States is thrilled about the new democratic city in the Great People’s Republic. We will offer all citizens the chance to immigrate to Seattle with only a minimum purchase of $2.000,000 in the form of condos to be built in that great city!  Better yet, that fee will, for many of you, be paid by rebates from our wonderful tariff program.



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