The internet is all agog with rumors about Apple’s latest .. the I-Earring! Rather than a smartwatch, Apple’s new wonder is meant for your ear! The petite device, featuring a synthetic diamond in the shape of the Apple logo, will include over ten sensors, where some sensors will be d[...]
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April 18th, 2014 - 1:09 pm § in Misc.
APPLESAUCE: Why do I need to give Apple my $*^%% finberprint?
Like millions of others, Fred Kahl never used a passcode on his iPhone. The 48-year-old creative director said it was “kind of a pain in the ass” to punch in those numbers every time he needed his phone. In the meantime, plans for the Goldfinger project by Apple have been held up by poli[...]
April 1st, 2014 - 3:36 pm § in Politics
APPLESAUCE: Shareholders want their money!
(TANews) Kim Jung Un, the Great Dear Leader if North Korea and a one of Apple’s largest secret shareholders, has threated to vote with Carl Icahn that Apple buy back $50,000,000,ooo in shares unless it completes the now stalled Goldfinger project. Tim Cook stopped the project when Jang Kh[...]
December 27th, 2013 - 11:46 pm § in America
APPLESAUCE: Apple shareholders want their money!
Despite recent good news that Apple will finally be able to sell its phones in China, the company’s share holders are voting on whether to disburse $50,000,000,000 as dividends. Carl Icahn, a large holder of these shares,. has urged anybody who does not want the money to raise their hands a[...]
December 7th, 2013 - 11:32 am § in Misc.
PRESIDENT ROMNEY: cutting crime using the sky eye
Oliver North, Secretary of Homeland Security, has announced two technological breakthrough, the Extreme Access System for Entry (EASE) and Persistent Aerial Reconnaissance & Communication(PARC ), that will allow the Romney Administration to solve the immigration problem’ “These dev[...]
September 3rd, 2013 - 2:58 am § in Misc.
First Anniverasy of the passing of Jesus’ Younger Brother
Sun Myung Moon’s Groundbreaking Campaign to Open North Korea The controversial Unification Church founder, remembered for his eccentricity and wealth, also made some of the very first cracks in the Hermit Kingdom. Readmore about the wake last year. There is speculation that Apple’s Proje[...]
April 23rd, 2013 - 12:03 pm § in Misc.
APPLESAUCE
The news from North Korea is hurting Apple. With Kim Jung Un threatening to bomb everyone and closing the joint factory with Soth Korea, Apple’s pans for Goldfinger and other projects are in swrious jeopardy. This may explain why Apple’s stock is plummeting. Accelerated losses, tu[...]
April 1st, 2013 - 9:17 am § in Misc.
Apple’s New Product
Apple introduces the iFINGER. Following last year’s introduction of the iBracelet, Apple has introduced its newest miracle .. the finger that does not need a stylus! The ring now does the magic of Apple’s earlier “Goldfinger.”[...]
January 30th, 2013 - 7:28 am § in Misc.
Applesauce: Cox and Balmer
Yesterday morning, Apple unveiled its latest iPad — a sort of ho hum competitor for Microsoft’s Surface Pro .. being released later this week — four days from now. So Mr. Cox is not doing the Jobs act .., no stagecraft this time. While Mr, Balmer is making his bet that MS can mak[...]
January 14th, 2013 - 6:33 pm § in Misc.
Why is Google interested in North Korea?
Google Bamboozled by North Korea? Why is the company’s chairman in Pyongyang, and what does he hope to accomplish? The anser is obvious. With China moving up the food chain, Google’s rival Apple has been in talks with North Korea about moving production from China to the PRK Read more [...]