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IRAN’S REVENGE

There is a rumor on a number of web sites that the Iranian government is planning to target the Donald using cyber resources to open up his ohso secret tax records.  According to these sources,  Iran feels that America is ready for a regime change.

The idea is to use Iran’s highly sophisticated cyber force to target America’s outdated Electoral College system and the loss of a free press in Trump’s USA. The sources go on to say that Iran has “intercepted so many of the secret communications between Trump and the Russians because he uses his insecure cell phone for late night calls. Very traceable. Most of it is useless from an Iranian security standpoint, but our recordings are very embarrassing for Trump. ”

At least one source may be satirical.  It claims that “Every night, Trump begs Putin to read him bedtime stories like a little baby. Trump’s favorites are stories where he’s a more popular president than Barack Obama. And, also like a baby, Trump likes repetition, requesting Putin read him the same stories over and over. It’s the only way he can go to sleep. When Putin isn’t available, Sean Hannity calls in and reads him supportive tweets Fox News anchors have tweeted that day.”

The sources continue, “We’ll release all this once we get those tax returns. His tax returns are, no doubt, full of Russian loans, property sales, rental profits, and illegitimate money laundering. The guy literally gets an allowance from Putin, which goes down or up depending on how satisfied Putin is with Trump. We have several tapes of Trump begging for allowance increases, too.  Lot of tears, some screaming tantrums about how unfair Putin is, and sometimes he wishes out loud he had never been born. But every time Trump announces he wants to abandon a NATO ally, Putin gives him a little raise, and Trump congratulates himself on his business skills. Putin offers a lot of encouragement. He tells Trump that he is way tougher than Obama used to be, and Trump makes him promise it’s true over and over. These tapes will really ruin Trump’s image. But it’s necessary.”

 


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