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How old are you? How much would you pay to find out?

The calendar lies.

You may be younger or older than you think.

That’s because chronological and biological age are different. But measuring the latter is tricky. There are several ways to do it, some better than others.

Scientists consider “epigenetics” the “gold standard” for determining biological age. This is, roughly, “how your environment changes the way your genes work.” Don’t ask me to explain that, because if you understand it, you’re already ahead of me. Anyway, a UCLA researcher “found patterns of DNA methylation could be used to accurately estimate human age.”

He and other scientists have developed more accurate “clocks” to identify unhealthy aging; he calls the system “GrimAge, as in the Grim Reaper.”

Of course you want to know where you fall on that scale, don’t you? I thought so. Hucksters know so, too.

Consequently, “In recent years, these methods have led to an explosion in startups that aim to measure biological age for consumers. These biological age tests are marketed as premium wellness products, often with sleek websites, minimalist packaging and influencer endorsements on social media. They range in price and testing format. … None of these tests have been approved by the FDA.” (See story here.)

The next question is, after you’ve paid several hundred bucks for that info, what to with it? The hucksters, eager to part you from even more of your money, would like to sell you purportedly life-prolonging products, which aren’t FDA-endorsed, either.

The UCLA researcher offers this advice: “Currently these clocks are not useful for the average person because we don’t have an intervention to slow aging. Let’s say a medical doctor orders an epigenetic clock test, and it indicates a patient is older than they should be, what should the doctor say? There’s no cure they can prescribe,” beyond repeating conventional health advice.

So save your money and follow the conventional health advice: Eat right, exercise, don’t smoke, etc. (But if you insist on spending a lot of money, then before you do, read my article on home gyms here.)

I’m not a scientist, so my experience with aging is only anecdotal, but I think genetics plays a large role. A quick internet search led me to an abstract of a paper (here) that says, “Family studies demonstrated that about 25 % of the variation in human longevity is due to genetic factors.” I come from a family where nearly everyone several generations back has lived to the early 90s, unless something killed them first, and then hit a wall — my family tree has no centenarians in it.

I’ve also known people who aged quickly (white hair by their 50s, etc.) and died young (50s or 60s). It’s hard to separate out the effects of lifestyle, work and family stress, and other life-shortening external influences. But some people clearly have faster clocks than others, i.e. wear out quicker and die younger. Probably nothing they can do about that, except follow the standard advice:

Live every day like it’s your last. Under Republican gun policies, it just might be.

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