Germany declares war on American!

“Model case of stupidity!”

A 26-year-old American woman who knew she had Covid-19 but flouted Bavarian quarantine rules and went bar-crawling in town has infected at least five dozen Germans and authorities there are not happy.

“Model case of stupidity,” Bavaria’s governor declared, casting aside 75 years of German passivity and resorting to fighting words. Since 1945, Germans have skirted calling Americans stupid, even though we are. (Exhibit A: Making Trump our president.)

That was the year American suckers and losers liberated Germans from their stupidity; since then, they’ve gone forward, while we’re now going backwards (see U.S. evolution chart at left).

There’s an old saying that, “Your freedom to swing your fist ends where my nose begins.” This is why asking the 44% of Americans who are terminally stupid to wear masks when in the presence of the other 54% for whom there’s still hope isn’t “tyranny,” with 2% undecided in polls, probably because they’re now dead.

The anti-maskers in the U.S. are basically saying, “You’re a tyrant if you don’t let me punch you in the nose,” except substitute “kill you” for “punch you in the nose.” Some in the 54% camp contend a logical argument can be made that confining those people to their own enclaves would be justifiable self-defense, but trying to argue logically with the 44% plainly is fruitless.

Germans are now in basically the same position; they’re forced to deal with an insouciant American who’s going around punching Germans in the nose, so to speak, and are pondering what measures they can take against her, such as issuing a proclamation stating, “Miss So-and-So is hereby declared to be ugly,” which is the worst verbal thrashing you can inflict on an American model, regardless of whether she’s a model for Victoria’s Secret or a model of stupidity.

It’s clear they’re going to do something. Bavaria’s governor, Markus Soeder, fumed that “such recklessness must have consequences” and suggested the woman “could receive a stiff fine,” according to NBC News. Munich prosecutors have “opened a preliminary investigation into the woman on suspicion of causing bodily harm,” NBC News said. (Read story here.)

Another option might be kicking her out of the country, or maybe kick out the entire U.S. military and replace them with a German nuclear deterrence, given that the U.S. military is indirectly responsible for her being there. She’s a civilian employee at a resort and hotel complex catering to U.S. military personnel (photos), which is now closed after she infected 25 of the staff there.

Okay, I have an idea. I like to use logical approaches for solving problems. Now think about it: Here’s a 26-year-old female employed at a hotel crawling with American suckers and losers, who obviously doesn’t have to go very far to get a room, but goes bar-crawling in town. What gives with that? Well, isn’t it obvious? Revoke her German sex privileges.

This is easy to do. Go ahead and declare her officially ugly. German men don’t want ugly women any more than American men. When she can’t get sex with German men anymore, only with American suckers and losers, she may leave Germany voluntarily and return home on her own. To Sturgis. There’s plenty of stupid American sex there.

Return to The-Ave.US Home Page

0 Comments Add Yours ↓

  1. Mark Adams #

    What if she has sex with ugly German women. Would it not be terrible to deprive them of her company?

    It is that Octoberfest time of year so this will soon be forgotten. The US military has managed to anger Barvaria’s governor on a regular basis and their commanders have let the GIs know how stupid they are.

  2. More American Embarrassments since Nov 2016 #

    The Munich public prosecutor opened an investigation regarding the female employee at a U.S. military vacation lodge in Germany facing ten years in jail for going on a bar crawl when she had coronavirus.

    The 26-year-old was awaiting her test results and already had a sore throat when she partied for several nights in Garmisch-Partenkirchen.

    The woman faces jail time after infecting at least 23 others and exposing more than 710 people to the virus through her partying after the Greece trip in early September.

    “Lawyer Arndt Kempgens said: ‘From the point of view of conditional intent, this can even lead to criminal liability for willful and dangerous bodily harm according to Section 224 of the Criminal Code. The sentence ranges from 6 months to 10 years in prison.”

    “District Office spokesman Wolfgang Rotzsche added: ‘If the woman has actually consciously accepted this risk, then she should also be legally prosecuted.”

    The possible punishment might sober her up. M

    Daily Mail 9 16 2020