Following the Republican victories this month, the Washington Redskins have decided to rename the team from DC.
press release:
(TANS: Tuesday, 11/11/2014) After Tuesday’s debacle, we have decided to change our team name. We realize that the obvious issue now dividing the nation is how to rename the team formerly known by a derogatory term that begins with R.
While we are proud of the R’s heritage, we also realize that the word R——s has become derogatory, especially since the team is made up of White guys and Black guys, few of whom are Republicans.
As for the other “R” word and its association with America’s great native poples, we also realize that there are no members of America’s many noble tribes on the team!
So we need some other name for the DC mascot. We have considered several names but also need to be considerate of the ethnic origins of our players. We do not think the African American players would take kindly to renaming the team the Zulus. Although our owner, Dan Snyder, is Jewish, suspect that the PR folks would have a hard time with the name “Fighting Goyem” or even the “Crusaders.” Mr. Snyder did think of suggesting the DC Golems, but our PR team felt that might be stretching the cultural umbrella a bit to far.
We also considered the names of other great warriors. “Saracens” was suggested since we also have a team called the “Vikings.” Our management worried that the FBI and some Muslim countries might take this badly. We would not want terrorists rooting for the football team located in our nation’s capital. Similarly we realize that Maccabees is already in use by Israeli teams.
So, after much discussion .. the new name is the DC REDNECKS!