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The Herman Knowsitall Award was created by THE Ave in 2o13 to honor extremely creative academics whose effort exceeds their knowledge.
The award is named for Herman Knowsitall, the former Dean. founder and now President of Koombya™ School of Business Law.
Professor Knowsitall did not begin his career in academia.
Born on January 1, 1967 in Brooklyn, Knowitall grew up wanting to make money, a lot of money. As a young an he had a disdain for academic, seeing degrees as just entry keys. After Business School at NYU. Herman pursued his dream for 25 years working with world renowned companies. With expertise in marketing, Herman Knowsitall became famous for saying, “it is not a useful product until you can sell it!” This attitude led to a series of positions with increased responsibility in companies Herman chose for their fame. These included world-class organizations like Yugo Motors, Kingsford Charcoal, Michael Jordan Skin Products and Phillips Cell Phones. By the itme he was 40, Knowitall realized the limits of working for someone else. After leaving, the still young Herman worked as a consultant with a number of smaller companies, always with the goal that his skills could be turned into ownership. Nothing quite worked out.
By the time he was 45, now married with a kid, Herman was unhappy living off of his wife’s income as a Wall Street attorney. Middle age was threatening. Then came the great idea that made Herman Knowsitall a major name and hero to many academics. Talking with his wife, Herman realized he has learned as much law as she knew. He did not want to be attorney but came to realize that his ultimate marketing opportunity was selling lawyers.
Herman figured this out while working with other consultants at Ecexs™ *, Inc. a cleverly named front that allowed its “officers” to use a website, have someone to answer phones, print business cards and hold some sort of title. Her,man called himself a “managing director.” Ecex was needed because many MBAs were having trouble finding useful work. Talking with his wife, Herman came to realize that he had already learned most of what she knew either through his own experiences or through talk at night. The he had the idea .. what if he became a lawyer?
Herman had been acting as a consultant for a local Catholic college called The College of St. Nicholas. The college, founded as a girls’ business school was named for St. Nicholas since the saint is said to have thrown bags of money
through a window for three girls who needed dowries. As the woman’s movement made St. Nick’s obsolete, they were losing money. His feast day is December 6, stull celebrated at Koombya™.
Herman’s first contribution to St. Nick’s was the Koombya™ Online Curriculum. The curriculum, named for Kumbaya” “Kumbayah“s a spiritual song from the 1930s, showed how an MBA, after learning enough to pass the bar in 12 months, could adapt MBA classical training to the arena of the law. As Herman termed it, “Selling your client’s case,” “It does not matter if the legal issue is about a divorce, defective consumer goods, getting out of military service, misleading advertisements, candy that melts when it shouldn’t or worthless health insurance. The lawyers job is to sell!”
Knowitall continues” “Of course selling the client’s position means knowing enough about the facts to sell the ideas.” That’s is why Koombya™ employs well paid experts. “A professor at Koombya™ is paid by the companies we serve, usually a lto better than they could be paid in a traditional “research” university.” With this sort of staff, I or any Koombya™ attorney can sell anything from snow in Alaska to Iran as a vacation spot.”
Koombya™ rose from these simple roots to become a model for many other American universities while Professor Knowsitall has become an expert in everything. In 1995, St. Nicholas was renamed Koombya™ university and awarded Herman Koombya™ a JD because of his life experience. Doctor Knowsitall had no problem passing the bar.
The ability of Herman Knowsitall, JD to know everything is hugely important to the success of graduates of the Koombya™ program. In 2001, Koombya™ bought out Ecexs™, Inc. and turned it into wholly owned subsidiary that provides expertise for a reasonable price. Clients of Ecexs can hire experts to provide faculty credentials for accreditation of universities operated with no costly faculty. Similarly politicians can hire Ecexs with Koombya™ faculty titles to validate any side of any issue.
Among recent projects, faculty working for Ecexs have authored a document for the American studies Association, a small bit prestigious academic society. The document supports a boycott of Israel’s universities on the grounds that Israel’s universities have adopted a phrenological program to classify Arabs as being of a different race from Jews. As it happens Koombya™ is the only American University to offer a major in Phrenology. This unique piece of work was the basis for creation of the Knowsitall award in 2013 with D, Herman Knowsitall as the first recipient.
Run this video to hear the school song:
*Ecexs™ and Koombya™ are wholly owned trademarks of THE Ave.