A 43-year-old man was inside a Kent, Washington, gas station on the afternoon of Sunday , November 3, 2024, “when a gun fell out of his pants.”
“The man picked up the gun and put it back into his waistband, but was fiddling with it as he walked to the checkout counter,” a Seattle TV station reported here.
Before I tell you what happened next, he wasn’t even supposed to have the gun, for three reasons: (1) it was stolen, (2) he’s an ex-felon, and (3) he has an active domestic violence order against him. So this is going to land him in jail. Eventually.
The story continues, “The man fell to the floor all of a sudden, police say, and then hobbled out of the store and left the gas station in a vehicle driven by a woman.” Yeah, because he’d shot himself in the ass; or as Forrest Gump would say, “in the buttocks.”
He “eventually turned up at an Auburn hospital” and lied to the cops that he was “shot by a stranger in the parking lot of a store.” The gas station’s surveillance video showed otherwise.
Now here’s the best line of the whole story: “The man was not able to be booked into jail due to his injuries, police said, but he could face up to 3 felony charges once he is released from the hospital.”
I will merely observe there are easier and less painful ways to stay out of jail. For example, don’t steal a gun, then stuff the loaded gun in your pants, but if you’re gonna do that at least check the safety, and it’s always advisable not to drop a loaded gun with the safety off onto a concrete floor, and don’t have a felony record and DV order against you if you’re gonna go around dropping stolen loaded guns on concrete floors because the ER nurses will call the cops when you show up with a gunshot wound in your private real estate.