Ellie is “family,” Wyverne Flatt says, and “I could never dream of giving away somebody who’s part of my family.”
Flatt became Ellie’s daddy when he was living in South Carolina, and took her with him when he moved to an uptight village in upstate New York, whose local officials don’t see a family relationship, only a pig. They need to look harder.
Flatt told the Associated Press, “She’s very smart. She’s more intelligent than my dogs.” Probably was thinking “… and the village officials,” too.
Which she is. I wouldn’t say this unless I had evidence to prove it.
Here’s the evidence:
“In a court filing, a lawyer for the village described tolerating Ellie’s presence in the village as the first step toward total anarchy, writing ‘if every citizen were to openly scoff at the Village zoning codes…we would live in a lawless society.’”
That’s right, they think keeping a pig in violation of their zoning code is “anarchy” and will lead to general lawlessness. Read it here.
If it was a rooster, I’d see their point. That is anarchy and lawlessness. After a few days of “COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO” at the crack of dawn, it would explode in a cloud of feathers. In a place like that everybody is armed.
I guessed right away this village probably voted for Trump, because this has “Republican law and order” written all over it. I was right. Totaling its three precincts, these tightasses voted 995 for anarchy and lawlessness vs. 587 for Biden (see for yourself here).
Let’s do this. Mr. Flatt should put the pig up for a vote. By running Ellie for mayor. Let every man and woman in town vote their conscience and inner pig. Then we’ll see if the mayor and the zoning officials still have jobs.
