Now it’s true you have to take off before you can engage in fisticuffs in the air, and airlines are canceling hundreds of flights because of sick crews, which is disrupting the sport of boxing on planes.
However, two pugilists who did make it into the air, on a Delta flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta on Thursday, December 23, 2021, were an unidentified 80-year-old male and former NFL cheerleader, Playboy model, and two-bit actress Patricia Cornwall, 51, who more recently has been selling real estate now that her looks are gone.
We’ll call him Old Guy, since we don’t know his name.
And we’ll call her Jailbird, because that’s what she is right now, but you can use Drunk Karen if you like.
Anyway, Old Guy is in his seat minding his own business, and pulls down his face mask to eat and drink.
Meanwhile, Jailbird is returning to her seat from the restroom, but the aisle is blocked by a beverage cart, and the flight attendant suggests she find herself an open seat in the rear. According to this report, Jailbird retorted, “What am I, Rosa Parks?” And Old Guy then stopped minding his own business and interceded in hers by saying, “You aren’t black, this isn’t Alabama, and this isn’t a bus,” and tells her, “Sit down, Karen!”
Jailbird then approaches Old Guy and says, “Put your f**king mask on.”
It’s not clear from the story here how he responded to this, but the next words out of Jailbird’s mouth are: “Stand your a** up!”
About this time, a male crew member is arriving on the scene, and Jailbird orders him to “Tell him to mask up! Tell him to mask up!”
Oh, and by the way, she’s not wearing a mask. So the male crew member tells her to mask up, and Old Guy helpfully explains (in case she doesn’t realize who the crew member is addressing), “You put your mask down, b***h.”
She moves in on him, and queries, “Did you call me a b**ch?”
“Yes, I did,” he says, to head off any possible misunderstanding.
At this point, her fists begin to fly; there would also be scratching and spitting before it was over. Crew and passengers drag her away, and she lays into them, too.
She was arrested at the gate in Atlanta, and is now officially a Jailbird.
Update (12/27/21): Cornwall faces federal assault charges that could get her a year in prison (story here).
Photo: Rosa Parks uncorks on Old Guy