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Have you seen this snake?

If you do, stay the hell away from it.

A zebra cobra is on the lam in Raleigh, North Carolina. The fugitive is described as “black to brown with light cross bars,” and may be up to 4 feet in length.

“The Raleigh Police Department sent out a notice … urging anyone who sees the missing zebra cobra to stay away and [call] 911. They say [it] could spit and bite if cornered,” ABC News reported (here) on Tuesday, June 29, 2021. (Read more here.)

The African Snake Institute says (here) zebra cobras are “largely nocturnal” and “often found on tarred roads, especially after rain.” Its bite isn’t usually fatal, but is damned unpleasant, and this cobra breed is considered “very dangerous.”

Zebra cobras are native to southwest Africa. No cobra species is native to North America. The only reason there’d be one in a North Carolina residential neighborhood is because some screwball adopted it as pets. I’m not talking about zoos, or scientists who study them. What sane person wants a cobra for a roommate?

Some idiot let this one get out of what’s supposed to be a secure cage, and now a Raleigh bedroom community is on lockdown while animal control officers hunt for it. Until it’s caught, the residents can’t let their children or dogs go outside, and have to watch where they walk. However, the rat population may temporarily go down.

Laws vary depending on where you live (for a rundown, go here). Washington, where I live, prohibits private possession of cobras; North Carolina has no restrictions to speak of. Some people call that “freedom.” But there’s a word for people who exercise their freedom in ways that put others in harm’s way:

“FreeDUMB.”

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