TO™ announces that it has agreed to use of its brand name, “Trumpie,” for a new brand of safe cigarettes.
Eric Trump, President of Branding for TO™, announced that the new brand was possible because of breakthrough research sponsored jointly by the Center for Disease Control under its new head Beaufort J. Reynolds and The RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company have developed a completely safe, but fulfilling cigarette with no tars, no nicotine and a totally smooth smoke.
“The Trumpies will be made in a new plant in North Carolina where a lot of our colored people live, “said Mr. Trump. The tobacco will be grown in Virginia and each pack will contain a coupon redeemable at any hospital under the new Trumpcare Health Program.