(Cairo, Nov 24, 2037) Barron “Barry” Trump, President of Trump University’s Cairo campus, has announced that computer enhanced exploration of the hidden rooms of the Great Pyramid has solved the mystery of who actually built the great pyramid and why.
“This discovery is a tribute to great science. When our team fist entered the chamber, we expected to see an Egyptian mummy. Instead we found a well preserved body with a decorative helmet looking much like the hair of my father, President Trump. ”
“Of course , we were skeptical. We knew the mummy could have been a fake but then we also found ancient turkey bones! Until then everyone believed 
turkeys were indigenous to Guatemala. However, when we sequenced the Egyptian turkey DNA, it dated before DNA taken from turkeys previously discovered in Mayan pyramids. Moreover, the Pyramid turkey DNA contained DNA sequences never found elsewhere on Earth. That DNA also matched sequences brought back five years ago from Mars by the joint Russian/American space probe.”
We now know that my ancestors colonized the earth from Mars, bringing the great genes that allowed humans to achieve the greatest civilizations,”
The discovery, that the pyramids were built as luxury hotels by the Trump family’s remote ancestors has resolved long standing questions about how primitive humans could have had the technology to create the greatest structures seen on earth until that time.
The Egyptian government and the US government have announced plans to to build a replica of the Great Pyramid as part of the Trump Presidential Library and Resort being constructed in Atlantic City.