The-Ave.US

Commentary by David Preston

Non-Christians and straight people alike have a hard time understanding the gay wedding cake issue. Even gay-friendly straight folks don’t get it. They think it’s about non-discrimination, but it’s not really about that at all. It’s about acceptance. Non-discrimination and acceptance are two very different things.
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Understandably, gay couples don’t just want to be married; they want social approval of their marital status. Unfortunately, to get that, some gays feel that they… need to go after those who are least likely to give that approval. In other words: conservative Christians. And that is why, if there are two bakers in town, and one is gay and one is Christian, the gay couple looking for approval will always ask the Christian baker bake their wedding cake for them.
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Christians, for their part, know that approval is what gays want. And they know that weddings are an area in which they can withhold their approval in a symbolically powerful way. So withhold it they do!
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Picture this: A couple come into a bakery and order a wedding cake. They’re not noticeably a couple, so if it was any other occasion, the baker wouldn’t even know the cake was for them. But as soon as they tell the baker to write “Dave & Jeff Forever” on the cake, that changes everything.
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Ridiculous, no? Yes . . . in every other context but this one.
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The baker proposes a compromise, knowing full well that it will be rejected: How about I give you the cake and you put the lettering and figurines on it yourself? I’ll drop it off at your house and you can take it to the wedding. I’ll give you a discount over my normal rate. Just don’t tell me about your marriage, because I don’t want to know.
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NO! Not good enough! replies the couple. We want YOU to put the lettering and figurines on, and we’re going to sit here and watch while you do it. We wan’t to make damn sure you recognize our marriage and treat us just like every other married couple.
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So now we’re at an impasse. The couple might be able to take the matter to court and force the baker to comply or close down. But in so doing they will be reminded that the Christian baker is far from being a lone hold-out and that there are, in fact, millions of other Americans who disapprove of their marriage as well. Oh my. That’s not very romantic, is it?
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At this point, the battle might not seem as provident to either side as it did at the outset. But then, you know what they say about cake, don’t you?

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Understandably, gay couples don’t just want to be married; they want social approval of their marital status. Unfortunately, to get that, some gays feel that they need to go after those who are least likely to give that approval. In other words: conservative Christians. And that is why, if there are two bakers in town, and one is gay and one is Christian, the gay couple looking for approval will always ask the Christian baker bake their wedding cake for them.Christians, for their part, know that approval is what gays want. And they know that weddings are an area in which they can withhold their approval in a symbolically powerful way. So withhold it they do’

Picture this: A couple come into a bakery and order a wedding cake. They’re not noticeably a couple, so if it was any other occasion, the baker wouldn’t even know the cake was for them. But as soon as they tell the baker to write “Dave & Jeff Forever” on the cake, that changes everything.Ridiculous, no? Yes . . . in every other context but this one.The baker proposes a compromise, knowing full well that it will be rejected: How about I give you the cake and you put the lettering and figurines on it yourself? I’ll drop it off at your house and you can take it to the wedding. I’ll give you a discount over my normal rate. Just don’t tell me about your marriage, because I don’t want to know.

NO! Not good enough! replies the couple. We want YOU to put the lettering and figurines on, and we’re going to sit here and watch while you do it. Wewan’t to make damn sure you recognize our marriage and treat us just like every other married couple..So now we’re at an impasse. The couple might be able to take the matter to court and force the baker to comply or close down. But in so doing they will be reminded that the Christian baker is far from being a lone hold-out and that there are, in fact, millions of other Americans who disapprove of their marriage as well. Oh my. That’s not very romantic, is it?
At this point, the battle might not seem as provident to either side as it did at the outset. But then, you know what they say about cake, don’t you?'”