Move over “medical marijuana,” Chocolate may prevent obesity and diabetes
The determined effort to legalize marijuana went so far over the edge that many states and even Sanjay Gupta (right) got sold on the idea that a medicinal plant was somehow better than chemically defined drugs. The sad truth was that this was never true, while marijuana is largely harmless it is also no more effective than chemicals, some of which are present in the plant. “Medical marijuana” is no more a hoax than using tree bark instead of aspirin.
So, when talking with my favorite potheads as well as anti-pot fanatics, I would offer them an alternative. Let’s trade marijuana for chocolate! Make MJ fully legal .. serving the need for “medical marijuana,” in trade for making medical chocolate (MC) only available by prescription . After all, chocolate is obviously addictive and, as an obese person, I am living proof that chocolate is harmful to your health!
So, you ask, is medical chocolate good for sick people? Guess what: “Improved thinking. Decreased appetite. Lowered blood pressure.” All of these are now medical benefits of the greasy brown stuff that tastes good!
- Cardiovascular Health
- Diabetes Protection
- Food Tastes Better
- Anti Cancer Benefits
- Bone Health
- Dental Health
- Sex (Valentine’s Day)
- Brain Health
- Feeling Good
Scientists are now homing in “choclatoids” that help prevent obesity, as well as type-2 diabetes. An antioxidant in cocoa prevented mice from obesity and lowered their blood sugar levels. That’s good for chocolate lovers, or chocoholics as the critical, self righteous opponents call us.
So, in the interest of giving the illegal drug industry a source of money, and supporting President Putin in his campaign against Ukrainian chocolate dealers, I think the time has come to illegalize chocolate!
FREE UKRAINE, ILLEGALIZE CHOCOLATE
(Except for sick people!)