This article, by Malcolm Unwell, says it better than I would.
My issue is that I value femininity and masculinity.
The military ethos is masculine. Are there women who could play the guy role? Sure there are. Just as there are effeminate males. The problem, as Malcolm Unwell writes, is that gender integration also means gender tolerance. Behaviors that I would celebrate in a woman or in some men, would be obviously inappropriate in a SEAL or fighter pilot.
It seems to me that we should want gung-ho male chauvinism in our combat troops. A woman who has that attitude can only be allowed to serve if we abandon the idea that any combat soldier can be criticized for caring more about his family than about his platoon.
Are there such women? Proabably, but would it be fair as a society to ban combat soldiers from breast feeding?
I think the real issue is the conflict between two very American ideals ..individual freedom and vs. the right to be yourself.