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Hot enough to take your shirt and socks off? OK as long as you put ON a life jacket!

According to Danny Westneat at the Seattle Times:

Thanks to the  the wisdom of the Metropolitan King County Council, — the foot-dippers, the swimmers, the rope-swingers, the floaters, the in-the-middle-sitters — must, by law, wear life jackets.

It’s an $86 fine if you don’t. That applies mot only to  boaters on all the major King County rivers, including inner tubers, air mattresses and (I guess) rubber duckies.

Westneat continues:

Seriously, Metropolitan King County Council? If I’m out on a hike and I want to wade around in a river to cool off, I better have packed a life vest?

Now it’s true these rivers can be like crazed beasts in the spring and early summer. That’s when the white water rafters love them most. But right now I probably wouldn’t try to swim in one even wearing a life jacket.

But in August or September, the trickiest thing about floating some of these rivers is that you run aground so often.

In North Bend, the middle fork of the Snoqualmie quiets so much in very late summer that parts of it can be easily walked across, Muoio says.

“I don’t think anyone would object much if they required life jackets for boating,” she said. “But I can’t imagine we’re all going to be wearing them during our summer swims.”

Is swimming with a life jacket even fun? Sorry, that question is obviously out of bounds.

Currently the law is only that vests are required for kids under age 12 who are in boats less than 19 feet long. Some states do mandate life jackets for adult boaters in dangerous waters, such as Class III rapids or above.

But it’s apparently a new one in this state to make life vests mandatory for adult swimmers. The part about waders is even more off the charts.

The well-meaning idea is that there’s huge snow melt this year, so the rivers are expected to be full and dangerous for longer.

“I personally feel that it is insane for anyone to be on moving water in Washington without a life vest,” said James Grieve, of Northwest Fly Fishing Adventures, writing in support of the new law.

OK, but again — even if we’re wading? That’s kind of like making air bags mandatory for pedestrians.

I guess laws like this are, in the end, not that big of a deal. Last I checked, the King County Sheriffs Office was so understaffed they were saying they can’t respond to every burglary. It would be curious if they suddenly find the manpower to crack down on inner tubers.

So really it’s just a public-service message. Wear your life vest, eat your broccoli, etc.

Why I am irked by it anyway? Something about being treated like a child.

Said a county health officer, when the life-vest law was introduced: “The best drowning prevention on rivers is to stay out.”

Can’t argue with that. The best dying prevention would be to never leave your home at all. Only hitch is that at some point there’s no life left in the living.


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