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BREAKING NEWS: GOP will settle the Cruz/Trump Fight .. with a duel

UntiCruz Trump debateReturning to its origins, the GOP is going to use a duel to settle the conflict  between Ted Cruz and Donald Trump.

On September 22, 1842, future President Abraham Lincoln, at the time an Illinois state legislator, met to duel with state auditor James Shields, but their seconds intervened and persuaded them against it.

This duel led to the founding of the GOP, but it was part of a long tradition since 1804, when United States Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton was killed in a duel against the sitting Vice President Aaron Burr in 1804.  This was a good thing because Hamilton was planning to set himself up as General of the newly formed army, in effect a dictator.

Later, between 1798 and the Civil War, the US Navy lost two-thirds as many officers to dueling as it did in combat at sea, including naval hero Stephen DecaturAndrew Jackson, the seventh President, fought many duels. On May 30, 1806, he killed prominent duelist Charles Dickinson, suffering himself from a chest wound which caused him a lifetime of pain. Jackson also reportedly engaged in a bloodless duel with a lawyer and in 1803 came very near dueling with John Sevier. Jackson also engaged in a frontier brawl (not a duel) with Thomas Hart Benton in 1813.

 


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