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Are Washington’s football programs black holes?

With Jimmy Lake now gone from U.W., following WSU’s dismissal of Nick Rolovich, both of Washington’s Division 1 public universities have sacked their 2nd-year football coaches.

Reportedly, physics faculty and postdocs at both institutions are applying for National Science Foundation grants to study this strange Pacman-like phenomenon that sucks in coaches, chews them up, and then ejects them into space.

A focus of this research will be whether Washington occupies a locale in space where spacetime is warped by hidden gravitational forces into a funnel-shaped declivity into which unwary new coaches are prone to slide, colloquially known in the physics labs as “the yellowjacket trap.”

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