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What if the president loses his keys?

“Former military aide who carried ‘nuclear football’ reveals a gaping hole in security that could enable a marauder to obtain the access card and pose as the president,” the tabloid headline screeched here. (Click on image to enlarge.)

It’s been known for years our military routinely loses, misdirects, and accidentally drops nuclear weapons (details here), so nobody should be surprised to learn control of the launch codes is loosey-goosey, too.

Sidebar: The U.S. has thousands of nuclear warheads. You can’t expect the military to know where they all are at any given time.

I’m not referring to the president’s car keys. This is about the other keys.

The “football” — the black satchel always by the president’s side, except when it isn’t, and that happens — has no fail-safe lock. Anyone can use it. This includes the Capitol rioters who got within a few feet of Vice President Pence’s backup “football” on January 6. I wonder if they would’ve nuked hotbeds of “election fraud” like Detroit (83% black), Philadelphia (43% black), or Atlanta (51% black). The point is, if they got the satchel, they could have.

The Pentagon says it’s reviewing the procedures for ending life on earth. Meanwhile, I suggest shooting any rioter or anarchist who gets too close to that satchel. Right wingers have speculated Capitol rioter Ashli Babbit was shot by a member of Pence’s Secret Service security detail. If so, maybe that’s why.

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