This article is news and satire.
Trump and Biden “will commemorate the 19th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks in rural Pennsylvania where one of the hijacked planes crashed in a field, the White House and Biden’s campaign announced Wednesday. It was not immediately clear whether their visits to the memorial in Shanksville will overlap,” Huffington Post reported on Wednesday, Sept. 2, 2020. Read story here.
Advance parties from both campaigns are already on site making preparations for their meeting. These preparations will accommodate the candidates’ supporters, too. However, be advised that parking is limited, so reserving parking spaces in advance is required. To keep the festivities fair, each side will be allotted an equal number of parking spaces.
National Park Service employees will use snow machines borrowed from closed ski resorts to make snowballs. These will be arranged in piles along two straight lines 100 feet apart. Barriers will be placed along these lines to prevent cheating.
Advance men from the Trump campaign are also piling river rocks along the snowball line. What these are for is unknown at this time.
Followup: For a news account of how Trump and Biden observed the day, click here.
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