BREAKING NEWS: Trump to offer statehood to Israel and Taiwan

(TA News, White House, 12-28-18)  In a startling development, TA News has learned that President Donald Trump is considering expanding the number of US states.

The idea came from the deal Mr. Trump just negotiated to sell Alaska back to Russia.  When consummated that deal will leave the US with only 49 states.  Mr. Putin inspired the US President by offering Crimea its membership in the Russian Federation.  The Russian leader suggested to the Donald, “Why don’t you do this for Taiwan and Image result for us flag 52 starsIsrael? The addition of an Asian State and a Middle Eastern state would be as valuable to you as Crimea is to us!”  The Russian leader pointed out that both countries, like Crimea, have national identities that are challenged by their neighbors.  He did not need to point out that Israel and Taiwan, like Crimea for Russia, provide natural military bases to defend America’s interests.

The Senate will go along because both Taiwan and Israel are expected to vote Republican.  To entice the Democrat house to go along with this issue, Mr, Trump will offer to also make Puerto Rico a state.

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  1. Mark Adans #

    Last time I checked our constitution Israel or Taiwan could petition congress for statehood. It would be humorous if Cuba were to do so at the end of their Revolutionary experiment.

    It is usually helpful to have the Presidents support in becoming a state, part of the reason Puerto Rico is not a state is no President has been a strong advocate for such an outcome, preferring the status quo, which the last hurricane points out the imperialistic underpinnings of our policies.

  2. Roger Rabbit #

    Per Const. Art. IV Sec. 3, Congress has exclusive decision authority re statehood.