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Curses for Jew-Trumpies

DAYENU: It would suffice if …………

Rabbi Aaron Spiegel director of the Center for Congregations

  • May you live to a hundred and twenty without Social Security or Medicare.
  • May you live to a ripe old age, and may the only people who come visit you be Mormon missionaries.
  • May your grandchildren baptize you after you’re dead.
  • May your insurance company decide constipation is a pre-existing condition.
  • May you feast every day on chopped liver with onions, chicken soup with dumplings, baked carp with horseradish, braised meat with vegetable stew, latkes, and may every bite of it be contaminated with E. Coli, because the government gutted the E.P.A.
  • May the state of Arizona expand their definition of “suspected illegal immigrants” to “anyone who doesn’t hunt.”
  • May you be reunited in the world to come with your ancestors, who were all socialist garment workers.

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