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Sarah Palin’s Amazing Success as Ambassador to Russia

Ambassador PalinPresident Trump’s choice of Sarah Palin as Ambassador to Russia has already proven to be brilliant.

Ms. Palin, having recently emerged as a hunting buddy with President Putin, has begun to take a prominent role on hosting public discussion of issues relevant to the two countries. She even has her own TV show!

In an interview on her show on Russia Today,  Ambassador Palin discussed peace prospects with Russia with Paul Hellyer, Canada’s former defense minister.   Helyer said the US needs to pay attention to issues ignored by President Obama, especially the role of aliens: “Of course, there’s been a lot more activity in the last few decades.” The reason for this, he said, was that man was stupid enough to invent the atomic bomb. Aliens are frightened that we’re going to use it again (and again) and that this will affect the whole balance of the cosmos.

Ergo, each visit seems to have symbolized: “What the hell are they doing in that insane asylum today?”

Hellyer suggested that there are Edward Snowden-style whistleblowers who have already revealed government knowledge of alien visits. “It doesn’t take long to get your hands on it,” he said.

Hellyer is perhaps less convincing about his own experience with UFOs. He claims to have seen one, but when Ms Palin asked what the alien looked like  he said: “It just looks like a star. The Star of Bethlehem is one of God’s flying saucers.”

Hellyer explained that there ar might be as many as 80 different species of alien.   “Some of these even look like us.  Indeed, he claimed that two alien ladies went to Las Vegas to shop dressed as nuns and no one was any the wiser.” Palon was surprised, but her guest reassured her that any aliends in Alaska would not need disguses. “Why would they be? This was Vegas. Try that in Wasilla!”

 

At this point, you’ll be worried about whether these aliens are mean-spirited. Hellyer said that only one or two species might be threatening. He didn’t mention whether they spoke Klingon.

In previous pronouncements, Hellyer has insisted that aliens know how to make us greener.

 

The aliens would, it seems, like to teach us better ways to live. Hellyer believes, though, that they are waiting for our consent. Moreover, they’re scared that if they revealed themselves we’d throw a conniption.

Honestly, it’s as if these aliens have never seen a single sci-fi show. We’ve been begging them to sort us out for many a year.

You’ll be wondering, though, about their technology. The aliens are “light years” ahead of us. And, apparently, “a lot of the things we use today, we got from them.”

Ah, that’s why it’s called the Samsung Galaxy.

Microchips and Kevlar vests are two of the other creations that, according to the serious Hellyer, came from outer spatial sources.


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