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I am Filipino

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In some respects I feel like I am Filipino.  I know I would have been treated differently by some Filipinos if I could actually say I had Filipino blood in me.  I still have to show Filipinos pictures of my family for them to believe that I am a Cordova, or that I know anything about Filipino culture.

In some ways, I can see why Rachel Dolezal would feel discriminated.  Its not from a sense of not belonging though. (I hope)  It’s from a sense of wanting to belong so bad and not being able to fully be a part of a group.  Her insecurity is what brought her to file a discrimination suit against Howard, not her privilege. (I hope)

There were times that I felt shunned by very distant family members because I was Black.  There were times at the UW where Filipino events would take place and I felt like I was made to feel like I didn’t belong because I was not Filipino.  Although I wouldn’t file a suit, I did feel like I was treated a certain way due to the fact that I was not Filipino.  Some of that was insecurity and some of that was true.  75589_10151326669071134_1994532667_n

My Grandpa Fred told me to embrace my blackness with all my heart.  He taught me to be proud of being Black, but at the same time, he use to tell me that I was his grandson and that I was Filipino.  We would laugh about it at times, he would joke, “you are just a little taller than the rest of us.”  I know that this was his way of making sure that I always felt like I belonged.  He noticed times that I didn’t feel that way.  We talked about that as well.  Feeling a certain way based on family members experiences, identifying with a culture from far away while being exposed to it everyday was tough growing up.  10636297_913024555377898_5519534196801106358_n

While I understand that she made a mistake.  I hope she lied for a good reason, I want to believe in my heart that she genuinely feels the struggle.  I hope that she wanted to be a part of something so bad, that she felt like this was the only way her voice would be heard!


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