If you kidnap yourself, ask for more than $8,500, so it’ll look realistic

“The reported kidnapping of a Vallejo, California, woman for ransom this week was nothing but a hoax, police said. … Denise Huskins and her boyfriend Aaron Quinn, who reported the kidnapping Monday, are no longer cooperating with police …. Police said the requested ransom amount was $8,500. The FBI is investigating the Huskins’ financial records.” — CNN

$8,500?? Really?? Who kidnaps anyone for $8,500? Even poor Somali pirates charge more than that.

You can’t flee to Alaska — much less Brazil — with only eighty-five Benjamins in your pocket or purse! If they were scheming to elope, $8,500 would get them a justice of the peace wedding, with no flowers, and a couple of weeks in a Nevada motel. Then back to work in their same old boring jobs. Maybe that was their plan.

I’m guessing this was a scheme to shake down her dad. Maybe they figured that was all he has. If I were him, I’m not so sure I’d want her back. I might hand them the keys to a used car and a couple of bills for gas, and say “enjoy.”

573556_1280x720Let me tell you, if someone kidnapped me and demanded only $8,500, I’d be insulted. If I kidnapped myself, I’d ask for at least $500,000, although I have no idea who would pay it. None of my relatives would pay anything to get me back.

Photo: Huskins and Quinn

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