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Weyerhauser and The Seattle Times Invent new Portal to the Internet

Read Before You Need ( SJ News: Anacortes, WA; April 1, 2011)

Merger afoot.  In a major piece of news, Weyerhauser has purchased the Blethen publishing company.

Linda Blethen, the current CEO of the Paper Disposables Division, will be the head of a new divisions to be called News-on-Paper Enterprises.

NOPE’s major product, the result of a secret project of Weyerhauser Research Labs located in Tukwilla and Cambridge, Mass., will use disposable e-ink to print the day’s news on fresh sheets of highly cushioned toilet paper.  The product, to be called NOPE Paper will have as its motto, “read before you need.”

Ms Blethen said, “by bringing the internet to the water closet, we are leveraging two of the greatest strengths of the 21st century.

Famed political columnist fro the Stranger, David Goldstein, has endorsed the NOPE product and was seen discarding his iPADs for a role of NOPE.